Hi there! My name is Podar, and I am a stuffed animal living in New York City.
Right now you are probably thinking that the aforementioned sentence is maybe the most ridiculous thing that you have ever read or heard of in your entire life, and honestly, I am inclined to agree with you. So, I guess before we go any further, I had better explain how I became an aspiring puppy blogger.
Things were pretty simple for me until about a year ago. I was made in a factory, and like most other stuffed animals made in factories, I was shipped out with dreams of living with a fun young girl or boy, where I would be hugged, cuddled, attend tea parties, have mouths wiped on me, and in general, be loved to pieces (literally - that is how most stuffed puppies meet their end - we are literally loved to pieces).
However, my path turned out to be much different than I expected. Instead of heading to your local Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Toys 'R' Us or something similar, I somehow wound up in a strange nightclub in New York City. Instead of being held by young arms, I was hung by my neck with other stuffed animals in some type of game booth where people had to throw darts in an attempt to pop balloons in order to win me as a "prize." Sounds great doesn't it? Well, it gets even better, because this club served plenty of alcohol, and so the men and women that tried to win me nightly weren't the most dextrous of people, and thus I was there for a long while.
One night, after who only knows how long, this tall guy and his beautiful girlfriend (hey, I'm a stuffed animal, not blind) showed up to try and win me. The guy was somewhat more accurate than your average drunken slob, but failed to hit a balloon. The woman on the other hand was on fire that night, and nailed three balloons in a row. POP! POP! POP! Suddenly, out of nowhere, a hand reached out for me, and then I found myself being placed in the happy young lady's arms. The rest of the night was a blur of laughter and alcohol, and I myself was just thrilled to be part of a family at long last.
I can almost hear you saying, "This is all lovely, but how in the world did a stuffed animal become real, and why in the world is he writing a blog?" The first part of that question is easy, and the second is a bit more difficult, but I will do my best to answer both.
I think that I became real because the beautiful woman's boyfriend wished it to happen. I know, I know, that sounds like some kind of fairy tale or or kid's cartoon, but I really think that is just how it went. I don't know if he threw a penny in a fountain, rubbed a lucky rabbit's foot, wished upon a falling star, but it happened. My personal opinion is that he just needed a friend so bad, and wished so hard for me to be real, that some force in the universe felt his need and made it happen. Volia! The world now has a stuffed talking dog that can move around, sit, rollover, and other cool things. I would also be remiss if I failed to mention that it wasn't just me that became real out of this wish. As outlandish as it sounds, he actually wished four stuffed animals to be real, so my "brothers" and I are now part of this big happy family. (In case you are wondering, my brothers are a seal that isn't quite right in the head, a gator that likes to bite, and a somersaulting blue bear that giggles like a maniac, but I digress.)
So I guess that moves us on to the next part. Why is an animated pile of stuffing writing a blog? Well, there are several reasons, but first and foremost I am bored. Everyone else has something to do all day, but the world doesn't really have a lot of use for a stuffed dog, so I might as well write. Second, I figure the four of us here aren't the only ones who have been wished to live, so maybe there are other stuffed animals out there who are feeling lonely and wondering if anyone else is out there, and thus I write this blog for them. Another reason is that I hope to earn some money. I mean, do you know of any classified ads running in the paper for a stuffed animal? I am the slowest typer in the world (try typing with paws), and I don't know a thing about computers. What job am I going to get? Last, but not least, I figured this blog would serve as a how-to guide for anyone who has wished their stuffed animals to life. It is not as simple as you would think, living the life of a stuffed dog, and I figured that this might help future owners, caretakers, parents, friends, or whomever understand the high's and low's of being a stuffed dog living in the Big Apple.
This blog is about my adventures. I am Podar, I am a stuffed dog, and I am going to live my magical existence to the fullest! Stay tuned to hear all about my life in New York City, and follow my adventures!
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