You want to know something that is hard to do in New York City as a stuffed dog? Ordering a hot dog! You would think that it would be fairly simple right? All you have to do is bring your one dollar bill to the hot dog vendor (or two bucks if you are closer to Midtown), and order that hot dog just the way you want it. Easy right? Not so much for a stuffed dog.
Have you ever noticed how high those cart windows are? It is not that easy to get someone's attention from the sidewalk, no matter how much you bark. Plus, even if I manage to climb all the way up there, these new hot dog carts have beverage slots, signs, and napkins all over the place, which I have to say is not very conducive to maintaing sleek and dry fur.
If I manage to do all of that, struggling to hold my dollar bill in my mouth, by the time I get to the window the hot dog vendor doesn't pay any attention to me. He either tries to pet me, yells at me that I am not hygenic (and I totally am), or acts like he cannot understand my order. Often, I just sit there staring back at him and repeat my order, but sometimes these vendors just do not seem to understand me (admittedly one time it was my fault because I had four quarters in my mouth instead of a dollar bill, but still).
Normally, by this point I am frustrated, so I just wait patiently for someone to order a hot dog, bark loudly, and then when they drop it I run in and snag it (leaving my dollar behind of course). It's a win-win for everyone, unless they order onions. Then, my doggy-breath and I are left to terrorize the city for a few hours.
All of that said though, I LOVE HOT DOGS!!! LOVE THEM! LOVE THEM!
Order hot dogs isn't as bad as ordering ice cream though... that is a whole other ballgame. More on that another time though.
The Adventures of Podar is the story of a stuffed animal living in New York City who becomes real after a wish by his owner.
